Presentations into Conversations

I recently went to Seattle’s Town Hall to hear Paul Allen being interviewed by Todd Bishop from Geekwire. Mr. Allen, who is usually a very private person, has been traversing the country, appearing on Sixty Minutes, etc. to promote his memoir, Idea Man.

In the ladies restroom before the program, a young woman commented, “I don’t know what I’m doing here. Allen is always so awkward and uncomfortable.” I expect a lot of people who paid their $5.00 were thinking the same thing.

Bishop and a healthy-looking Allen walked on stage and seated themselves in comfortable living room chairs. Bishop began by saying, “I want to start by asking the question that is on everyone’s minds. I know you’ve had your ups and downs with this individual. Will Matt Hasselback sign on with the Seahawks?” The crowd erupted in laughter and it set the tone for the entire entertaining evening. Allen was charming and answered every question and those from the audience with candor, humor, and thoughtfulness.

When Allen was questioned about why he was putting Gates and Balmer in a bad light, he said it was necessary to do justice to his own story and neither has said the events mentioned in the book didn’t happen. (I read the reason these two were discussing limiting Allen’s ownership of Microsoft was not because they wanted to cheat him but as a legitimate concern they might lose control of the company to relatives, should Allen die from his cancer.) In any case, Allen, who implies in his book that he was under-appreciated, says everyone remains friends.

Bishop asked him about his yachts and his submarine. Allen spoke about descending 1000 feet down to the ocean floor. He said it was dark and there were really strange animals but when you put on some Pink Floyd, it was fantastic.

One can’t help be impressed with Allen’s consistent curiosity and creativity from the Experience Music Project to rocket ships and sport teams, despite his many failures. He said, “Maybe readers will learn from all the mistakes I’ve made.” Allen spoke about how his two bouts with cancer had changed his outlook and his actions. He got applause when he spoke about how his Brain Institute makes all their research available to anyone in the world for free and how important it was for him to leave a worthwhile legacy. And he introduced the first love of his life, Rita, who was sitting in the front row with her husband.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzEESpo81vY

It's becoming commonplace to have these “keynote conversations” with authors and celebrities. These are done in a relaxed manner and the expert doesn’t have to stress over preparing a formal presentation. You might suggest this approach instead of just a monologue for your next speech.

This doesn’t mean you don’t prepare for these “conversations.” The speaker still needs to thoroughly analyze and engage his audience. Allen called for a show of hands of programmers in the audience and then waxed poetic about solving code problems at 3 a.m. and asking them, “Isn’t that a great feeling?”

It’s critical to have a knowledgeable interviewer and to go over what issues need to be brought forth. At Town Hall, questions from the audience were solicited beforehand on cards. Bishop quickly chose ones that provided a lively discussion with Allen. It was a thoroughly enjoyable “conversation.” And thank heavens, not one Power Point slide!

jan@jdarcy.com

Resourses: Nerve: Poise Under Pressure, Serenity Under Stress, and the Brave New Science of Fear and Cool by Taylor Clark. Anxiety is now ahead of depression as the most prevalent mental health issue in U.S. This book gives any examples of why and how some people thrive under pressure and some falter. Clark gives ideas on how to work through fears, whether for public speaking or just about anything else in life.

Maintaining a Professional Image Under Fire

"Momma says when you stumble, make it part of the dance." These words of advice were embroidered onto an old red velvet pillow I saw propped on a shelf in a run-down thrift shop. I recalled the saying when Kirstie Alley’s partner collapsed with a muscle spasm and she fell on him during her rumba on Dancing with the Stars. Alley picked herself up and finished the routine displaying remarkable gamesmanship. I tell my clients when they make some mistake during a presentation to keep going and incorporate the faux pas as if it were your own original, intended action. One of the most important human characteristics to keep us on the path is resilience, that ability to bounce back when faced with personal and professional disappointments.

A Japanese young man, who spent a summer with our family several years ago, has posting disturbing messages about the horrific earthquake and tsunami. Kazoo lives in Tokyo and has sent us emails about the rolling electrical blackouts, fears of radioactivity in water and food, and the dreadful numbers of dead, missing and the 160,000 homeless. The impressive resilience of the Japanese nation is evident but the continuing high stress levels are taking a heavy toll on the physical and mental health of this courageous population.

In this country, many friends and acquaintances are going through stressful economic losses or have suffered personal and professional setbacks. While these pale in comparison to the unimaginable disasters in Japan, they still can wreck havoc on our health and mental state and adversely affect our communications. We may have experienced an illness, an injury, a death of a parent or someone close to us, a job loss, the breakup of a relationship or a marriage or other traumatic event. We can respond in various ways to difficult circumstances. Some individuals will fold and give up while others thrive on turmoil and pursue their goals, no matter what landmines they have to walk through.

A lady friend survived a long bout with cancer and was resolute in her desire to go back to work as a professional speaker. I was in the audience the first time she made the enormous effort to pull herself together, be cheerful, energetic and deliver a thoughtful message. She struggled but kept going. She has gone on to have her own radio and TV show.

A current client lost everything in the destructive Liberian War in West Africa but was eventually able to bring his family to a new life in the United States. Despite harrowing experiences, Ezechiel Bambolo has written a book, The Firstborn Son, and is speaking to audiences about how this concept relates to the stability of the family and society.

Countless studies show that it is the interpretation or meaning that people give to stressful events, their belief in their ability they are never helpless and having a strong commitment to their objectives that help them through difficult times. I might add that many clients tell me their spiritual beliefs are their bedrock.

How do you react to stress in your life or unexpected circumstances when you arrive at a speech site (or job interview, meeting, networking group, etc.?) Murphy’s Law is operating at full throttle these days and you will need to expect and welcome change or be left in the dust. The ability to communicate effectively under stress is a skill that you can learn. We’ll talk more in our next blog about developing a productive attitude and techniques to be compelling even when you take a spill.

jan@jdarcy.com

Resources: Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die by Chip and Dan Heath. Think you have a dull subject? Read this excellent book to help you make your ideas unforgettable.

A Tip for Your Next Presentation

My first job was washing chicken deposits off of eggs and packing them in cardboard containers for 50 cents an hour. I descended down rickety stairs into an old, drafty basement with a lone electric light bulb hanging from the ceiling. Within five minutes of my first afternoon at work, an egg rolled off the table and crashed on the cement floor. Then I dropped one egg on another, breaking them both. When the top of a carton failed to close, I hit it with the heel of my hand and cracked three more eggs. 5 eggs were trashed and my largesse 3 hours later was $1.50. When my employer dropped me off at my home, I reluctantly, but with integrity, handed her back 25 precious cents to pay for the losses. She growled, “Keep the money, you’ll get better.” I did. I was 12 years old. I also cleaned houses and toilets for 50 cents an hour. It was a tough job market - like today.

Then I was offered a job as substitute organist for St. Therese church and made $1 each weekday morning for playing and singing the mass in Latin. Soon I was in demand for other ceremonies. I loved opening up all the stops on the organ to play Lohengrin’s wedding march and received $5 for each joyous occasion. I dutifully practiced putting emotion into the hymns I played for funerals. I checked the obituaries for local Catholics as grateful mourners usually paid me the generous amount of $10.00. Of course there were families who hurried out the door after the corpse in their feigned sorrow and ignored a frantic little girl waving and running after the hearse. I also earned money winning talent contests where I sang love ballads, played a jazzy piano or did double baton-twirling and gymnastics. Being an artist was so much more rewarding than cleaning dirty chicken eggs.

This was how I learned people would pay handsomely for your services if you entertained or inspired them. Later in life as a professional speaker and a coach, I realized it was paramount to give my audiences useful information but my presentations were really successful if I touched my audience emotionally or they had fun. I hope you’ve found a purposeful job you enjoy. Be mindful of the basic human desire for connection in your daily communications.

jan@jdarcy.com

5 Ways to Minimize the Impostor Complex

Have you ever felt you were an impostor in your position? Join the club. Many talented people in all walks of life are victims of the impostor complex. King George (in The King’s Speech) felt he didn't deserve to be King of England. It's estimated that 70% of high achievers feel like impostors, certain their present level of achievement does not result from true ability and others will soon discover the frauds they really are.

Deep inside most of us is the belief we are not good enough. And when we get promoted or elected or given more prestige, money, titles or power, the impostor complex rears its ugly head. It is particularly prevalent when we have to stand up and speak in front of a large group as there are more audience members to challenge our expertise.

Even though we have received objective, verifiable evidence that we are capable and confident, we are haunted by fears. Senator Ted Kennedy recalled, “The first time Jack and Bobby and I walked into the White House’s Oval office after Jack’s inaugural, we were sure someone would come round the corner and say, ‘You boys get out of here!’”

Many people are looking for jobs, switching jobs or switching careers more so than at any other time in history. It's common for them to successfully or unsuccessfully assume a persona, bluff their way until they pick up skills and gradually settle into a job until a couple of years later they are promoted or switch to another profession and are faced with another set of impostor fears.

Here are some suggestions:
1. Keep tabs on when impostor feelings are likely to occur. Have you been getting a lot of good or bad attention lately? How does that make you feel? Do these feelings occur when you take on a new assignment or have additional demands in your job? Are you uncomfortable because you imagine you're out of your "social class?" Have you been coping with a personal emergency and feel overwhelmed? It's helpful to keep a journal and jot down when negative feelings start to emerge.

2. Thorough preparation will give you security. If you need to present a proposal or critical information during a meeting, rehearse mentally and on-site, if possible. Develop a routine to use before every presentation.
3. Avoid people who undercut you or deliberately add to your insecurity. A man was working on a project with me and said things such as, "I'd be overwhelmed with all the things you have to do to make this a success." Or, "How much experience do you have pulling a project like this together?" I began to wonder if I could pull it together until I realized his game. The next time I smiled and replied, "No problem. It will all get done. I'm sure everyone including yourself will make a big contribution."

4. Approval from everyone isn't necessary. You don't have to please your older brother, your mother, your 3rd grade teacher, or a relative you haven't seen in years. Sometimes when we come from a high-achieving family, we feel we have to live up to expectations even when we are an adult.
5. Find a mentor. They have probably been through many of the demands of your job and can discuss realistically what you're going through. Or find a trusted coach, like the King did. Just talking with them about your fears can change your perception and give you new confidence.

Cut yourself some slack. Say to yourself, "I deserve to be here because of my intelligence and abilities. I will do the best job that I can possibly do."

King George & The Impostor Complex

I highly recommend you see “The King’s Speech.” Colin Firth, as King George, battles a painful upbringing overshadowed by a charismatic brother, an inhibiting stammer and his belief that he wasn’t fit to be King. He dreaded public speaking. Geoffrey Rush plays Lionel Logue, an uncredentialed speech therapist/coach with unorthodox methods who is able to help “Bertie” manage his fears and speak to his nation on the eve of war. Firth’s sister is a speech therapist and supplied the exercises used in the film.

The 73 yr old author of the screenplay, David Seidler, was a stutterer himself and was inspired by the King’s determination to overcome his affliction. The royal family was embarrassed and hid any mention of a therapist but Seidler was able to locate Logue’s son. He was given access to notes Logue had recorded of his sessions with the King. However, Seidler promised Elizabeth, the Queen Mum (Helena Bonham Carter) that he wouldn’t publish the story until her death and she didn’t pass until 2002 at 102 years.

“Stutterers,” Seidler explains, “grow up feeling they have no voice, that they can’t be heard: they see in the eyes of their pained listeners that they have no right to speak. I was overwhelmed,” he said, “when the audience applauded at the end of the movie. Because for the first time ever, the penny dropped and I felt I had a voice and had been heard.”

It might surprise you or be reassuring to learn that even Colin Firth admits, “I’ve never stuttered, but I’ve had the same drowning feeling from stage fright. When I forget my lines, I forget who I am, where I am. It feels like an eternity until I come back.” This amazing actor has not let his fears destroy his performance but says he has found he can turn his tension into a positive thing.

We’ll blog more next month about fears and ways to challenge the feeling of being a fraud. Have you ever felt you were an impostor?
After you’ve seen “The King’s Speech”, check out the site below to hear King George making the actual speech from the film on the radio.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/archive/ww2outbreak/7918.shtml

Regards
Jan D'Arcy


www.jdarcy.com
jan@jdarcy.com

Communication Skills for Job Interviews

According to a recent survey by job-placement firm Manpower, 84% of employees plan on looking for a new position in 2011. Do you feel you’re growing in your current job? Do you feel challenged or like you’re wasting your time? Are you preparing to “maintain and campaign” for a move this year?
The job market is slowing improving but you’ll face plenty of competition. Superior communication skills can give you an edge in a face-to-face interview for that promotion or new position.
1. Dress appropriately, have a confident posture, a strong handshake with direct eye contact and a pleasant smile. The interviewer forms an opinion from your non-verbal communication the minute you walk into the room.
2. Select five adjectives ( i.e. confident, calm, decisive, trustworthy and enthusiastic) that best fit the job-description to describe how you want to come across. If you review these as you introduce yourself, your body and voice will respond appropriately.
3. Use your space well. A video-tape showed women make several more adjustments with their purse, portfolio, clothing, jewelry, hair, etc. than a man does. Be lean and clean.
4. Be attentive and listen carefully. Keep your answers concise. Talk about what you can contribute, not what you expect. Show you are easy to get along with.
5. Rehearse possible questions so there are no long hesitations.There are no right or wrong answers. The interviewer is simply trying to understand how you behaved when you faced adverse circumstances or had a tight budget. Do your homework so you can give an example of how your problem-solving transfers to his/her organization.
Good luck!

"Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly."… St. Francis de Sales

Brevity in Your Presentations

Years ago the first cave people sat around a fire and told their friends stories. Their audience fell asleep, threw a rock at him or her, or listened attentively. The objective then and today is to get people to pay attention to what you are saying or be able to adroitly dodge slings and arrows. Care about your audience, be sincere but be brief.

Audiences want to hear your points and leave. Regardless of how fascinated you are with your subject, or consider your message absolutely critical, most people get bored very quickly and want to get on with other things.

You can condense your thoughts into a meaningful presentation. Consider that Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address is a scant 269 words in length. Jefferson’s Declaration of Independence is 1,337 words. It's more difficult to be simple but wisdom is often found in simplicity.

Your audiences are used to short sound bites of information. The younger the audience, the more impatient they are. Teens participating in a focus group said email is “something used to talk to ‘old people’ and is, like, so yesterday." They favor exchanging short, rapid dialogue with instantly updated messages or 140-character Tweets. Your listeners may range from young to old, but no one wants to sit through irrelevant information or slide after slide of confusing text. Prune your ideas like you would prune a rosebush. You'll end up with a more beautiful rose and more powerful impact in your speech.

Twenty per cent of what you say makes eighty per cent of the impact. Can you figure out that twenty percent and aim for the bull’s eye? State a context, your objective and get to the punch line. What do you REALLY think about this subject? What relevant evidence backs up your belief?

What does your audience need to know to do a job, increase their knowledge or efficiency, save them time or money, boost their morale, solve a problem, make a decision or take action? If you aren’t sure of your thoughts on a subject, you're apt to ramble expressing them to others. Take a break and let those thoughts germinate. Clarity of thoughts will bring about clarity in your speech. If there are addditional statistics, legal details, or facts your listeners need to reference, distribute handouts and documentation or publish them online. Avoid getting bogged down in details that your listeners will forget five minutes after they exit the room.
Phoenix speech writer Phil Theibert says “Keep it simple, keep it plain, tell them the truth and get the hell out of there.”

Your next audience will sigh in relief if you are clear and succinct and you won’t end up being a target!

“If you would be pungent,
be brief;
for it is with words as with sunbeams –
the more they are condensed,
the deeper they burn." ...Robert Southey

Jan D'Arcy

jan@jdarcy.com

Resources:

www.jdarcy.com Check out my website for podcasts on various presentation subjects.

http://www.ted.com/talks/sheryl_sandberg_why_we_have_too_few_women_leaders.html Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg looks at why a smaller percentage of women than men reach the top of their professions -- and offers 3 powerful pieces of advice to women aiming for the C-suite.