Bring Authenticity to Your Presentations

One of the best compliments a speaker can ever receive is, “You are authentic.”

When your audience feels you are real and genuine, they accept you and your message as reliable and trustworthy. If you’re authentic, you’re the author of your life’s script. You have processed information from your culture, from your parents, family and friends and from your work but they are not dictating your actions. You have chosen to be who you are but more importantly your actions need to demonstrate this truth.

A large company asked me to work with a member of their Speaker’s Bureau. The young man spoke at community events endorsing their services but was getting poor audience evaluations. When he gave his usual presentation, his body language and voice were not congruent with his words; he seemed very uncomfortable. I asked him how committed he was to the company goals. He was taken aback but then responded, “Not at all. I don’t believe in what they are doing.” I replied, “All of my coaching won’t make a bit of difference if you’re telling stories you don’t believe in. Your audience senses a lack of authenticity immediately. We need to find a company issue you do support or perhaps the Speaker’s Bureau isn’t a good fit.” He agreed. Later I heard he left the company.

Your voice, body language and words should all say the same thing. Otherwise, the audience gets mixed messages and end up confused. Being authentic starts from the inside. The closer you get to your identity, the more powerful you will be. And you will find that effective body language happens naturally. Are you fortunate enough to be speaking on subjects you are passionate about? Keep it simple. Don't try to imitate others.Guard against an increasing online virtual life because there is a tendency to construct artificial profiles that can overflow into reality.
Have faith in yourself just as you are. Do your homework. Believe what you have to say is important, useful to your audience and represents you. Mother Teresa fought against self-doubt on a daily basis. However, she was an authentic saint because her actions were always saintly.

In Margery Williams' The Velveteen Rabbit, the Skin Horse explains becoming real. "It doesn't happen all at once. You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Just think, one of the few perks of growing old is that we will become much better speakers because we become more authentic!

jan@jdarcy.com
Resources; The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life by Rosamund and Benjamin Zander. Mr. Zander is conductor of the Boston Philharmonic and Mrs. Zander is an executive coach and therapist. Inspiring book that invites us to become passionate communicators, leaders and performers.
Authentic? Get Real., NY Times, Sept 11,2011, Vol CLX, No55 535

Twin Peaks Festival - Connect. Engage. Entertain.

This weekend I attended the 19th Twin Peaks Festival.I played Sylvia Horne in the series, married to Richard Beymer from West Side Story. You may recognize Ray Wise in the picture, who played Leland in the series and had a leading role in The Reaper. He will return to Mad Men in the fall. Sheryl Lee was Laura, murdered and wrapped in plastic. Sherilyn Fenn who played my daughter, Audrey, was also there. It was great to see everyone.

175 fans from all over the world, including Austria, Canada, Scotland, Australia, etc. I’m always amazed at how long fans have kept the series alive. Besides touring the actual sites where the program was filmed, attendees ate cherry pie and ordered a “damn good cup of coffee,” participated in a character costume contest, and watched Fire Walk With Me at the Seattle Art Museum.

The fan's favorite weekend activity is when they can ask a panel of actors questions about what happened during the filming. The five actors came up with lively, entertaining responses; it was a tribute to their improvisational abilities. It’s hard to remember the obscure details from over twenty years ago when you’ve played many other roles since then. But the enthusiastic audience cheered, laughed or clapped at every utterance. How nice it would be if we got that kind of reception and favorable response for our everyday presentations!

I’ve mentioned before that a speaker needs to adapt and embrace technology. This was certainly the case Saturday night. When I looked out into the audience, I wasn’t able to make much eye contact or even see faces. There had to be 175 iphones, ipads, cameras and video cameras trained on our every movement and recording every word! We all knew our responses would be posted immediately on multiple sites on the internet. It could be daunting for a business speaker but actors seem to relish being in the spotlight.

It was a fun time for all. Another time I will write about being directed by the brilliant David Lynch. He had much to teach his actors about connecting, engaging and entertaining audiences.

Check out the 2011 Twin Peaks panel at:
http://welcometotwinpeaks.com/actors/twin-peaks-fest-2011-qa/
jan@jdarcy.com

Make Yourself Indispensable!

Is anyone indispensable? Could your customers or company or someone in your personal life be unable to function without you? Probably not - but perception is reality and if someone else perceives that they can’t do without you, you are indispensable.

The explorer Admiral Robert Peary made his final assault to reach the North Pole in 1909. Four Inuit natives were to accompany him and carry the supplies. He could only take one other man with him. He chose Matthew Hensen, his black colleague, for this historical event. Why? Because Mr. Hensen had learned how to build igloos, he had learned how to repair dog sleds and most importantly, he had learned how to speak the Inuit language so he could communicate with the Inuits. Even more critically, he could communicate with the dogs, who only understood Inuit commands. He was truly indispensable.

You may be interviewing for a job or trying to hang onto a job, start a business or accelerate your career. Ask yourself:
1.What are your real strengths that can make you indispensable?
2.What are your customer’s goals? Your company’s goals?
3.What obstacles stand in their way of obtaining those goals?
4.How can your uniqueness minimize or eliminate those obstacles? How can you end up being a hero?
5.What innovative ideas, services or products will your customers or company need that they aren’t even aware of?

I believe the combination of a unique talent plus superior communication skills can make you indispensable in the coming years. You'll need to be comfortable with rapid change and march to a different drummer. You'll need to develop a special built-in radar and keep looking for and asking, what is next? Learn to absorb a great deal of information, synthesize this data and then extract only that which is relevant and of value. Then succinctly and effectively communicate this to others so you can bring your amazing ideas to life.

You can’t sell peanuts if you’re at the end of the parade. Step forward,create your own unique trend and lead the way!

“What another would have done as well as you, do not do it. What another would have said as well as you, do not say it. Be faithful to that which exists nowhere but in yourself- and thus make yourself indispensable.
...Andre Gide,1897

jan@jdarcy.com

Increasing Confidence for Your Next Presentation

Marketing gurus will tell you to analyze your toughest competitors in order to get ahead. Who is your toughest competitor? Could it be yourself when you doubt your ideas, refuse to get out of your comfort zone or back away from risks that could be rewarding? Could you be running around fixing everything but the central core of the problem? The biggest obstacle is usually ourselves.

Yesterday I went to a luncheon held by a local Irish group. We sang Happy Birthday to a spirited 90 year-old woman. Her poise and self-assurance was evident as she stood and asked to say a few words. Her voice was surprisingly strong and articulate and carried well to the over hundred attendees in the restaurant. “I got to this stage in life,” she began, “by following two truths my parents passed on to me. The first thing they told me was ‘Be loyal to the royal within you.’ We forget that all of us are very special. But that belief can carry you through many challenges.

The second rule was to ‘Subtract your wants from your needs.’ I was in the convent for 35 years but left because my two brothers came back from Viet Nam and needed to be taken care of. I’ve paid my way every step of my life because I know the difference between my wants and needs. I still do not need anyone to take care of me. You can also accomplish significant things if you follow my parent’s advice.”

Terrence Howard was studying chemical engineering at Pratt Institute when he was discovered on the street and began acting on television. Those roles led to film roles and he has become a well-respected actor by movie audiences and critics. Oprah interviewed him on her show after his Oscar nominated role in Crash. She asked him what made the difference in escalating his career. Howard replied, “I got out of my own way. This is my life,” he continued, “I’m going to pick up the crown and wear it.”

You can cultivate the same attitude. When you acknowledge your value, your voice and body language project that confidence. When you appreciate your experience and expertise, fears are minimized and you can make those risky but advantageous choices. Before your next interview or presentation, say to yourself, “I’m a King (or Queen) and I own this room!” Your presence is enough. Be loyal to the royal within you!

jan@jdarcy.com

A Lesson in Persuasion from the Norfolk Prison Debate Team

Last year I received a call from Adam Bright who asked me if I’d tell him about the time I spent at Norfolk prison outside of Boston. Norfolk Prison started a debate team in the 1930’s and at first debated among themselves. Then they became more selective and competitive and began to invite formidable college debate teams every few weeks to the prison. Princeton, Yale, West Point, MIT, and Harvard were worthy opponents but by 1966, Norfolk had won 144 times and only lost 8 times.

It’s been a long time since my sophomore year at Emerson College when Professor Haig der Maderosian asked me to debate a murderer and an accused rapist on the morality of rock ‘n roll. I thought the professor was out of his mind! But eventually he convinced me and another 18 yr-old coed, Cindy Whalen, that it would sharpen our skills for upcoming college tournaments.

We began weeks of research and visited the prison a couple of times before the actual debate to size up the situation. At the entry-way, it was very unnerving to have the huge gate clang shut behind us and look up to see two guards with rifles. We ate dinner with the prisoners and chatted as if this were a regular Saturday night out. I never saw any women prisoners and Cindy and I dressed as modestly as possible.

Obviously, the prisoners had a lot of time to spend in their well-stocked library which provided them with national newspapers, government publications and up-to-date cultural, political and scientific books and magazines. (Human rights activist Malcolm X spent 2 yrs at Norfolk. He studied and joined the debate team which laid the groundwork on his path to becoming an eloquent speaker. )
Over the years, the three-person panel of judges for the debates included lawyers, judges, priests, professors and respected citizens. Both teams would be judged on delivery skills, evidence, and the ability to persuade. The night of the debate, I thought Cindy and I did rather well showing evidence of the bad influence rock and roll music and lyrics had on young people. Unfortunately, as Cindy and I smashed records on stage, hundreds of prisoners started singing all the dirty lyrics and drowned us out. The prison debaters were smart and ridiculed our statistics. They had done their homework and cited references I had never heard of and couldn’t refute. We lost and it was obvious the clapping, stomping hall of prisoners approved the decision.

This unforgettable experience was widely publicized and it was the only time I made Time magazine and the front page of Hollywood’s Variety and the Moscow’s Daily Worker. It definitely influenced my preparation and ability to deal with shrewd competitors in future debates.

Today I received an invitation to attend the public premiere of Stories from the Norfolk Prison Debate Team on May 26th at the Norfolk town library. There will eventually be an archived oral history for libraries, a radio documentary and a book about the debating teams that continued into the 1970's. Adam has put enormous effort into interviewing and finding the living prison and college debaters, judges and townspeople. I’m sorry I won’t be able to attend the celebration. I might have run into the murderer who was my silver-tongued opponent.

jan@jdarcy.com

Presentations into Conversations

I recently went to Seattle’s Town Hall to hear Paul Allen being interviewed by Todd Bishop from Geekwire. Mr. Allen, who is usually a very private person, has been traversing the country, appearing on Sixty Minutes, etc. to promote his memoir, Idea Man.

In the ladies restroom before the program, a young woman commented, “I don’t know what I’m doing here. Allen is always so awkward and uncomfortable.” I expect a lot of people who paid their $5.00 were thinking the same thing.

Bishop and a healthy-looking Allen walked on stage and seated themselves in comfortable living room chairs. Bishop began by saying, “I want to start by asking the question that is on everyone’s minds. I know you’ve had your ups and downs with this individual. Will Matt Hasselback sign on with the Seahawks?” The crowd erupted in laughter and it set the tone for the entire entertaining evening. Allen was charming and answered every question and those from the audience with candor, humor, and thoughtfulness.

When Allen was questioned about why he was putting Gates and Balmer in a bad light, he said it was necessary to do justice to his own story and neither has said the events mentioned in the book didn’t happen. (I read the reason these two were discussing limiting Allen’s ownership of Microsoft was not because they wanted to cheat him but as a legitimate concern they might lose control of the company to relatives, should Allen die from his cancer.) In any case, Allen, who implies in his book that he was under-appreciated, says everyone remains friends.

Bishop asked him about his yachts and his submarine. Allen spoke about descending 1000 feet down to the ocean floor. He said it was dark and there were really strange animals but when you put on some Pink Floyd, it was fantastic.

One can’t help be impressed with Allen’s consistent curiosity and creativity from the Experience Music Project to rocket ships and sport teams, despite his many failures. He said, “Maybe readers will learn from all the mistakes I’ve made.” Allen spoke about how his two bouts with cancer had changed his outlook and his actions. He got applause when he spoke about how his Brain Institute makes all their research available to anyone in the world for free and how important it was for him to leave a worthwhile legacy. And he introduced the first love of his life, Rita, who was sitting in the front row with her husband.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzEESpo81vY

It's becoming commonplace to have these “keynote conversations” with authors and celebrities. These are done in a relaxed manner and the expert doesn’t have to stress over preparing a formal presentation. You might suggest this approach instead of just a monologue for your next speech.

This doesn’t mean you don’t prepare for these “conversations.” The speaker still needs to thoroughly analyze and engage his audience. Allen called for a show of hands of programmers in the audience and then waxed poetic about solving code problems at 3 a.m. and asking them, “Isn’t that a great feeling?”

It’s critical to have a knowledgeable interviewer and to go over what issues need to be brought forth. At Town Hall, questions from the audience were solicited beforehand on cards. Bishop quickly chose ones that provided a lively discussion with Allen. It was a thoroughly enjoyable “conversation.” And thank heavens, not one Power Point slide!

jan@jdarcy.com

Resourses: Nerve: Poise Under Pressure, Serenity Under Stress, and the Brave New Science of Fear and Cool by Taylor Clark. Anxiety is now ahead of depression as the most prevalent mental health issue in U.S. This book gives any examples of why and how some people thrive under pressure and some falter. Clark gives ideas on how to work through fears, whether for public speaking or just about anything else in life.

Maintaining a Professional Image Under Fire

"Momma says when you stumble, make it part of the dance." These words of advice were embroidered onto an old red velvet pillow I saw propped on a shelf in a run-down thrift shop. I recalled the saying when Kirstie Alley’s partner collapsed with a muscle spasm and she fell on him during her rumba on Dancing with the Stars. Alley picked herself up and finished the routine displaying remarkable gamesmanship. I tell my clients when they make some mistake during a presentation to keep going and incorporate the faux pas as if it were your own original, intended action. One of the most important human characteristics to keep us on the path is resilience, that ability to bounce back when faced with personal and professional disappointments.

A Japanese young man, who spent a summer with our family several years ago, has posting disturbing messages about the horrific earthquake and tsunami. Kazoo lives in Tokyo and has sent us emails about the rolling electrical blackouts, fears of radioactivity in water and food, and the dreadful numbers of dead, missing and the 160,000 homeless. The impressive resilience of the Japanese nation is evident but the continuing high stress levels are taking a heavy toll on the physical and mental health of this courageous population.

In this country, many friends and acquaintances are going through stressful economic losses or have suffered personal and professional setbacks. While these pale in comparison to the unimaginable disasters in Japan, they still can wreck havoc on our health and mental state and adversely affect our communications. We may have experienced an illness, an injury, a death of a parent or someone close to us, a job loss, the breakup of a relationship or a marriage or other traumatic event. We can respond in various ways to difficult circumstances. Some individuals will fold and give up while others thrive on turmoil and pursue their goals, no matter what landmines they have to walk through.

A lady friend survived a long bout with cancer and was resolute in her desire to go back to work as a professional speaker. I was in the audience the first time she made the enormous effort to pull herself together, be cheerful, energetic and deliver a thoughtful message. She struggled but kept going. She has gone on to have her own radio and TV show.

A current client lost everything in the destructive Liberian War in West Africa but was eventually able to bring his family to a new life in the United States. Despite harrowing experiences, Ezechiel Bambolo has written a book, The Firstborn Son, and is speaking to audiences about how this concept relates to the stability of the family and society.

Countless studies show that it is the interpretation or meaning that people give to stressful events, their belief in their ability they are never helpless and having a strong commitment to their objectives that help them through difficult times. I might add that many clients tell me their spiritual beliefs are their bedrock.

How do you react to stress in your life or unexpected circumstances when you arrive at a speech site (or job interview, meeting, networking group, etc.?) Murphy’s Law is operating at full throttle these days and you will need to expect and welcome change or be left in the dust. The ability to communicate effectively under stress is a skill that you can learn. We’ll talk more in our next blog about developing a productive attitude and techniques to be compelling even when you take a spill.

jan@jdarcy.com

Resources: Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die by Chip and Dan Heath. Think you have a dull subject? Read this excellent book to help you make your ideas unforgettable.